MOLLY THOMS - CINCINNATI DOULA & MENTOR - Blog

Postpartum Planning

Fri, 03 Apr 2020 19:45:43 GMT

So often we get caught up in birth planning that we forget to plan for our postpartum experience... and find ourselves side blinded by all the things that we never thought about.

A dear friend and doula client, who was preparing for the birth of her 2nd child, had the idea of writing a ''Postpartum Plan'' in addition to her ''Birth Plan'' and graciously gave me permission to share it. Please, feel free to copy and paste, and use as your own.

Postpartum Plan
Written by an Anonymous Doula Client

Self:
Embrace the slower pace that is postpartum.
You have to be ready and willing to loosen your grip on who you are, so you can fully immerse yourself in the process of becoming who you will be.
Release perfectionism and control.
 Lean into the feminine: A baby places different demands on a woman than it does on a man. Ask for help, release the need to do it all, and graciously receive.

Visitors
 Hospital: only grandparents and Ezra meeting baby
 Home for first 2 weeks: only immediate family
 In the first month home: friends

~visits with friends will be an hour and a half or less
~list of helpful things visitors can do is posted on the side of the fridge
~ask friends to pick up any grocery items or stop at a store/bring a coffee

Breastfeeding
 Plan is to exclusively breastfeed on demand
Lactation Consultant: Phone Number
 La Leche League of Cincy - When do they meet?
 Formula, if needed: Enfamil NeuroPro or Up and Up Advantage Infant

Sleep/Rest
 If trying to nap during the day: take older sibling in the basement or take him out of the house to decrease noise/distraction
 Have a helper come during older sibling's nap to care for baby while mom naps
 Every 90-120 minutes of activity, try pausing for a ten minute break to recharge and rest
(take a walk, let your mind wander, stretch) don’t just push through the slump

Meals
 Make several freezer meals prior to birth
 Heirloom Chef is local ready to eat meals delivered, order via website
 Accept meals via drop-off (don’t do a meal train)
 Meal ideas for visitors to bring is posted on the fridge

Self-Care
 Postpartum herb baths (daily or every other day)
 AM Bible reading
 Put affirmations on bathroom mirrors
 Schedule a postpartum massage
 Journal
 Only check in with social media in morning, mid-day, and evening (don’t mindlessly
scroll and try not to use overnight with feedings- listen to a podcast or audiobook)
 Go to a coffee shop to read
 What gets me back on track when feeling “off”?
~Make your own list here - This mom included: sit in our sunroom with the windows open, baths, call a friend, go walk at the park or nature center, treats (a special coffee or acai bowls)

Mom Tribe
 List
 Your
 Mom
 Friends
 Here

Medical/Support Team Numbers
 Midwife/OB - Phone Number
 Molly Thoms (doula): 513-562-7033
 IBCLC - Name & Phone Number
 Massage Therapist -Name & Phone Number
 Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist - Name & Phone Number
 Pediatrician - Phone Number

Marriage Support
 My Love Language:
 Love Language of Partner:
 Sit down and do marriage journal once a week to connect as a couple

Isn't this a beautiful idea? Will you embrace the ''Postpartum Plan?'' What would you add to it or take away? Share your comments and suggestions in the comments.

Covid19 Tips: Exploring what you can control in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum when so much feels out of control...

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 18:58:11 GMT

In a world where everything is changing so quickly, I find myself wondering, in life and labor....

What DO you have control of?

What do you have control of prenatally?

How you prepare for your labor and birth. Not knowing what to expect leads to fear. Fear leads to anxiety and tension, and tension leads to more pain. Despite this pandemic, continue gathering information and learning what to expect in labor. Research your options. If you haven't taken a comprehensive childbirth or breastfeeding class, now is the time. Many doulas and educators, myself included, are offering online classes.

Having a supportive care provider. It's important, especially now, to have a care provider who will support you in your birth plan and wishes. You want a doctor or midwife who you can fully trust to care for and listen to you. If you need recommendations on wonderful care providers, reach out to me.
What media you take in. I've had to turn OFF the news, log OFF of Facebook, and start taking in only what is essential for my family's well being (aka I listen to Gov. Dewine everyday) Be mindful of how the media makes you feel in your mind and body. If it's adding to your stress, turn it off.
Stay connected with your friends and family, over the phone or online.
Now, more than ever, is a time to reach out. Talk with your friends and family. Let them know what your expectations of are for postpartum and how they can best support you and your family once you're home from the hospital.
Your breath. Make time to slow down and focus on your breathing as often as possible. Try it now: In through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your nose. In through your mouth, out through your mouth. Repeat.

What do you have control of when you are in labor?

How long you labor at home - When you go into labor, stay in touch with your care provider and ask how long it's safe to stay home, so long as you're comfortable doing so. If you have a doula, in addition to your care providers direction, they can help with knowing when is the right time to head in.
What you wear - In my experience, wearing your own clothes can hep you to feel less like a patient, and more like a mother and person.
The ambiance - You have control over your music, bright or dim lights, LED tea lights, etc. Talk with your partner prenatally about how they can support you in creating the ambiance you are hoping for
Your Birth Plan - While it's true that births don't always go as planned, a written birth plan helps you to to learn your options, gather your thoughts and communicate your wishes with your birth team. Email me at hello@cincinnatibirthandparenting.com for a free sample birth plan.
What You Pack -
Sanitizing Wipes & Hand Sanitizer While the hospital does have lots of cleaning products, you might feel better if you have quick access to your own, purse sized, container of sanitizers.
The Birth Partner Book by Penny Simkin (Amazon Link)
Labor position + affirmation cards (Amazon Link)
Your own pillows - With so much out of your control, having your own pillows will go a long way to helping you and your partner to get comfortable.
High quality snacks for yourself and partner - Hospital cafeterias and carryout may be an option, there is always a chance you'll be left with what's in the L&D refrigerator (aka a hospital deli sandwich) Pack some good food that you enjoy. Things you can pack now that will stay fresh include peanut butter and crackers, beef jerkey and nuts, protein shakes, etc. Throw fresh fruits and veggies in your bag on the way out the door.
Your breath. You always have your breath. In early labor, just breath. As active labor picks up, try slow, steady, controlled breaths. Maybe try breathing in through your nose and piercing your lips as you breath out. Make it an audible breath... Down, down, down to your baby and then out, out, out... Breath in peace, exhale tension. Breath in love, exhale fear. Remember to take a nice, cleansing breath (and relax your shoulders) after every contraction.

What do you have control of when you go home?

What you eat: Try to have several quick and easy to reheat meals in your freezer prior to your baby's big debut. Accept meals via drop-off from trusted friends and family who you know are practicing safe handling and care
How you talk to yourself: Put affirmations around your house - on the bathroom mirror, in the kitchen, by your nightstand. Affirmations such as, ''It's okay to not be okay.'' and ''This won't last forever.'' go a long way when you're in your postpartum and feeling like you're on a rollercoaster
Who you ask for help: Make a list now of people you might reach out to and what might be most helpful to you when you're in your postpartum. Friends, family, and counselors can lend a listening ear. Brainstorm now: What are no contact things that might be helpful to you? A list of tasks such as, ''Walk the dog'' or a pre-written grocery shopping list'' might be helpful
Your Breath You always have your breath. Go back to it now. In through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your mouth, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your nose. Just the very act of focusing on your breath will remind you that you DO have control of something.

Getting accurate facts will help reduce your fear and that of your friends and family. For reliable information, check out the websites listed on the bottom of our Covid-19 Virtual Information & Support page:

COVID-19 Information & Support

4 Week November Natural Birth Class at Mercy West

Fri, 01 Nov 2019 16:59:48 GMT

November Natural Birth Class at Mercy West

Every other month, Molly Murray, Cincinnati doula and owner of Cincinnati Birth and Parenting, LLC puts on her Clinical Educator hat and hosts a 4 week natural childbirth series at Mercy West Hospital.

This comprehensive, multiple day class series is essential for expectant couples who desire a low intervention birth without the use of an epidural. Women and their birth partners will gain the knowledge, skills and confidence to have a natural birth. Each class includes focused practice time to learn natural pain relief techniques and comfort measures.

All families, no matter where you plan to deliver, are welcome to attend the class.

Dates: November 4th, 11th, 18th, and 25th from 7-9pm
Cost & Registration: Call 95-Mercy for more information

Still looking for your childbirth class but unable to make this series? Visit our Classes page or send an email to mollymurray@cincinnatibirthandparenting.com for more information on private childbirth classes.

Meet Cincinnati Doula, Sally Ackerman: ''EMPOWERED BIRTH IS AT THE HEART OF DOULA WORK FOR ME.''

Thu, 07 Feb 2019 17:12:27 GMT

MEET CINCINNATI DOULA, SALLY ACKERMAN: ''EMPOWERED BIRTH IS AT THE HEART OF DOULA WORK FOR ME.''

My mom had me at home and told me stories about my birth all of the time. It was a powerful and positive birth and I have always been interested, fascinated, and intrigued by birth because of this. The biggest impression it left on me was that she had to take control of her own birth in order to get the care she deserved. It is important that a mother feels empowered and confident in her birth choices but that is not always the narrative told in our society.
As a doula, it is so important to me that you are listened to, given options and that you have respectful care. For my mom that meant a homebirth but that can be true for any birth from homebirth to hospital birth, vaginal birth to cesarean birth, medicated to un-medicated, induction to spontaneous labor.
I started my training for doula work when many women in my life were pregnant. I am a nurturing person who naturally helps and cares for others and felt called to birth work. I have always been a feminist and believe in building others up with encouraging words and affirmations.
With all of the darkness and ugliness we have in our world, one of the biggest reasons I became a doula was to bring more beauty, more positivity, more love, and more connection to this life. I truly believe we can change the world by honoring and respecting birth and postpartum. Which, in turn, improves outcomes for both.
It is always an honor to be invited into someone’s birth space and it is always beautiful, no matter how the unpredictability of birth unfolds, to witness new life being born. It’s an honor to witness people born into mothers and fathers and families grow. To witness that initial bond establish between parents and child.
As a queer woman who is married to a trans man, it is especially important and close to my heart to serve LGBTQ+ families. During my first year working as a doula I didn’t put my focus on that as I was just learning, growing and evolving so rapidly. Moving forward I will be putting more energy on that focus as a birth worker.
I am still learning, growing, evolving constantly as a doula, as informed birth work always is. I have had the opportunity to meet and work with so many amazing women and families over this past year and I am so excited for all of the families I will have a chance to serve now and in the future.

Sally Ackerman

Sally Ackerman is a birth and postpartum doula.

It’s Okay to Not be Okay.

Fri, 11 Jan 2019 15:13:13 GMT

''It’s Okay to Not be Okay.'' By Josie Parent

It’s Okay to Not be Okay. There... I said it. And I will continue saying it because I didn’t believe it at first when someone first told me that it’s okay. It’s okay that life is a mess sometimes, or that you may cry for no reason. It’s okay that motherhood is scary, and confusing and sometimes (ok... most times) messy. It’s okay that sometimes you may feel helpless, or lost, or that you may feel like the walls are closing in on you. Bottom line is... it’s okay.

I tell you this as a proud mother of 2 beautiful and amazing children. My son, Rowen, is almost 4 years old and my daughter, Parker, will be 19 months old in a few short weeks. From the beginning of time, I always always ALWAYS wanted to be a mother. I had a younger sister growing up, and taking care of her and of others in my life as I grew up was my true calling. I even went into the healthcare field in order to take care of my patients, and so I became a pharmacist and am still helping others to this day.

From the day I got pregnant with my son, I was floating on cloud nine and seeing the world through rose colored glasses. I had zero morning sickness (don’t worry, I made up for it with my daughter), gained minimal weight, maintained a healthy and active pregnancy and worked out, ate all of the right things, avoided all of the wrong things and took care of myself. I felt great, both physically and mentally, and even though some blood pressure spikes brought my baby boy to me a week earlier than planned, we welcomed him into the world with open arms and love in our hearts.

I had a few bleeding complications post delivery, which required me to stay an extra day in the hospital but was cleared to go home with no restrictions. So on a cold February day, we were able to leave the hospital and bring home our newborn son. And while I wish I could say things were perfect and not at all difficult, I witnessed firsthand what it felt like to have those rose colored glasses ripped off of my face. From the moment we came home, it was like a dark cloud had risen above me and wouldn’t move. I held him, looked at him, and while I felt joy and love, I also felt a deep deep sadness and worry in my heart of hearts. Looking back on those days now, I realize that the worst part for me was not the sadness, nor the worry that I was feeling. The worst part for me now is that I didn’t realize what was happening - and thankfully my husband did.

After a long shift at the firehouse, my husband came home from work one morning to find me at the sink and washing some dishes, sobbing my eyes out. Rowen was sleeping peacefully in his swing, and when Ryan asked me what was wrong, I blurted out “I HAVE NO IDEA!” in between tears. Once he put all of the pieces of the puzzle together, that’s when everything sunk in for him. He knew something was amiss, but wasn’t sure what was going on with me. Over the few weeks prior to this, I had been having extreme mood swings, anxiety, sleeplessness (more than what was caused by the newborn), bouts of uncontrollable crying, loss of appetite and a complete feeling of overwhelm. And despite my best efforts to take care of my baby and to try to take care of myself, which as I told you was the ONE thing I was sure I was good at, I was failing. I was failing at recognizing that something was wrong... but only because I didn’t know that something was in fact wrong.

Once I saw the doctor, I was diagnosed with something called postpartum depression. I had heard of this diagnosis from my medical background and from other people in the past but I never thought it could happen to me. I had taken care of myself during pregnancy, I never once felt depressed while I was pregnant so I had no clue that this diagnosis could apply to me. How could I be depressed after bringing to life one of the best things I’ve ever done?! Simple answer? Hormones. My doctor once explained what happened to me in a way that I will always remember - before you give birth, your hormones are released from a teaspoon at a time... but after birth, they get released out of a pitcher and all flow at you at once. So while it is normal for us to experience “baby blues” after delivery, what becomes abnormal is when it gets to a level that just won’t go away or makes you feel worse, or to a level that is debilitating - which is what happened to me.

I’m not sure why there is such a stigma against mental illness in our society, but I think that may be why I was so hesitant to seek out help or even to admit that something was wrong. Though things were seemingly going great to everyone on the outside looking in, things on the inside were falling apart. Once I was able to get to the doctor and air out my problems (which I hated doing, by the way), it was like a weight was immediately off of my shoulders. My doctor was able to place me on medication to help my body level itself out, and while they took a few weeks to really take effect, they helped immensely.
My second pregnancy with my daughter was much different than the one with my son. I had “all day morning sickness” until about 4 months in, but no blood pressure complications with her. While my second labor experience was much different with her, I started developing similar postpartum depression symptoms a few weeks after delivery. The major turning point in my second experience with this disorder for me was that I knew the signs and symptoms to look for. And as soon as I realized what was happening, I called my doctor right away and was able to get help the second time around. Though it was possible that I would not experience PPD after the birth of my second child, I was not able to dodge it.... and that’s ok!

If this is happening to you, please let me tell you that postpartum depression is NOT your fault - it is not something that you did to yourself, it is not a flaw within you. It is simply a complication from childbirth, and it is a disorder that can be fixed. The point of this article was to bring an awareness to a subject that is so near and dear to my heart, and to a subject that may be closer to your heart than you might be willing (or aware) to admit. It’s totally okay not to be okay. I wasn’t okay for a long time... but with the help of my amazing support system, a wonderful physician and some medication, I was able to get back to enjoying and getting to experience my new life as a mama. Because honestly, you can’t begin to be someone else’s world without taking care of your own self first. So put yourself first for once, mama... I promise it is worth it!