Covid19 Tips: Exploring what you can control in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum when so much feels out of control...

In a world where everything is changing so quickly, I find myself wondering, in life and labor....

What DO you have control of? 

What do you have control of prenatally? 

• How you prepare for your labor and birth. Not knowing what to expect leads to fear. Fear leads to anxiety and tension, and tension leads to more pain. Despite this pandemic, continue gathering information and learning what to expect in labor.  Research your options. If you haven't taken a comprehensive childbirth or breastfeeding class, now is the time. Many doulas and educators, myself included, are offering online classes. ​

• Having a supportive care provider. It's important, especially now, to have a care provider who will support you in your birth plan and wishes. You want a doctor or midwife who you can fully trust to care for and listen to you. If you need recommendations on wonderful care providers, reach out to me. 
• What media you take in. I've had to turn OFF the news, log OFF of Facebook, and start taking in only what is essential for my family's well being (aka I listen to Gov. Dewine everyday) Be mindful of how the media makes you feel in your mind and body. If it's adding to your stress, turn it off. 
• Stay connected with your friends and family, over the phone or online. 
  Now, more than ever, is a time to reach out. Talk with your friends and family. Let them know what your expectations of are for postpartum and how they can best support you and your family once you're home from the hospital. 
• Your breath. Make time to slow down and focus on your breathing as often as possible. Try it now: In through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your nose. In through your mouth, out through your mouth. Repeat. 

What do you have control of when you are in labor? 

• How long you labor at home - When you go into labor, stay in touch with your care provider and ask how long it's safe to stay home, so long as you're comfortable doing so. If you have a doula, in addition to your care providers direction, they can help with knowing when is the right time to head in. 
• What you wear - In my experience, wearing your own clothes can hep you to feel less like a patient, and more like a mother and person. 
• The ambiance -  You have control over your music, bright or dim lights, LED tea lights, etc. Talk with your partner prenatally about how they can support you in creating the ambiance you are hoping for  
• Your Birth Plan -  While it's true that births don't always go as planned, a written birth plan helps you to to learn your options, gather your thoughts and communicate your wishes with your birth team. Email me at [email protected] for a free sample birth plan. ​
• What You Pack - 
• ​Sanitizing Wipes & Hand Sanitizer While the hospital does have lots of cleaning products, you might feel better if you have quick access to your own, purse sized, container of sanitizers. 
• The Birth Partner Book by Penny Simkin (Amazon Link)
• Labor position + affirmation cards (Amazon Link) 
• Your own pillows - With so much out of your control, having your own pillows will go a long way to helping you and your partner to get comfortable. 
• High quality snacks for yourself and partner - Hospital cafeterias and carryout may be an option, there is always a chance you'll be left with what's in the L&D refrigerator (aka a hospital deli sandwich) Pack some good food that you enjoy. Things you can pack now that will stay fresh include peanut butter and crackers, beef jerkey and nuts, protein shakes, etc. Throw fresh fruits and veggies in your bag on the way out the door. 
• Your breath. You always have your breath. In early labor, just breath. As active labor picks up, try slow, steady, controlled breaths. Maybe try breathing in through your nose and piercing your lips as you breath out. Make it an audible breath... Down, down, down to your baby and then out, out, out... Breath in peace, exhale tension. Breath in love, exhale fear. Remember to take a nice, cleansing breath (and relax your shoulders) after every contraction. 

What do you have control of when you go home? 

• What you eat: Try to have several quick and easy to reheat meals in your freezer prior to your baby's big debut.  Accept meals via drop-off from trusted friends and family ​who you know are practicing safe handling and care
• How you talk to yourself: Put affirmations around your house - on the bathroom mirror, in the kitchen, by your nightstand. Affirmations such as, ''It's okay to not be okay.'' and ''This won't last forever.'' go a long way when you're in your postpartum and feeling like you're on a rollercoaster 
• Who you ask for help: Make a list now of people you might reach out to and what might be most helpful to you when you're in your postpartum. Friends, family, and counselors can lend a listening ear. Brainstorm now: What are no contact things that might be helpful to you? A list of tasks such as, ''Walk the dog''  or a pre-written grocery shopping list'' might be helpful 
• Your Breath You always have your breath. Go back to it now. In through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your mouth, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your nose. Just the very act of focusing on your breath will remind you that you DO have control of something. ​​

Getting accurate facts will help reduce your fear and that of your friends and family. For reliable information, check out the websites listed on the bottom of our Covid-19 Virtual Information & Support page: 

COVID-19 Information & Support